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$300.00
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Dim Mak
Deliver the death touch with ease of a tiny deadly baby that was born to kill
and raised with a piss poor attitude towards stupid people. The Dim Mak is a matched pair of righty and lefty Ringpops with a serious pointy bit that was chisel ground on Satan’s own Burr King. Inscribed with voodoo and full of funky whack ass juju, these are just too much for a standard pussy face or weak minded fool, so bear that in mind before you press that magik button.
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Dark Punisher
As dark as your soul, the Dark Punisher sports an oxidized finish to help repel rust, bloody guts and stubborn, sticky zombie brains. Go boldly into the night armed righteously, but don’t drop it because its super stealth might befuddle even you, a god amongst men.
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Joker Poker
Sharp pointy parts work in unison with blunt hurty parts in order to achieve a
sum greater than its individual parts when you employ this dangerous
implement. No one will be joking when the Joker Poker comes out to play. |
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Tattooed Punisher
A Punisher with ink, this tool is covered with the kind of bad art found only in
prison or the depths of hell. Like Ed Hardy’s fashion tattoos gone bad this tool is not for little girls or little girly men. Pretty like a train wreck as seen from space, this tool might induce priapism or premature ejaculation, so please handle with care. |
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Crazy Talk
As I’m sure you know by now, it is crazy talk, all the time here at Tandoc Tools. Join in the fun with a Ringpop that commemorates our special brand of retardation while at the same time functioning like the most illegal and dangerous thing most of you might ever own. A giant and deadly chisel grind makes this Ringpop unique and fun for children of all ages.
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Thumper
Blunt and evil, the Thumper will put the smack down without a corresponding giant bloody gash making it perfect for those times when you just don’t feel like cleaning up a big mess. Made from D2 and covered with bad chicken scratches, the Thumper can also serve as a horrible cock ring if you happen to have a long and skinny weiner and way too much time on your hands.
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One tiny dollar |
 
Tandoc Tools Badass Logo Stickers
Our logo stickers are made by Sticker Robot out of 100% industrial strength caliber vinyl with an aggressive permanent adhesive. With a clear, gloss 100% UV coating, these stickers are weather proof. “The kind you see stuck to a ski-lift and 10 years later, they're still shining in all their glory.”--Sticker Robots.
Our stickers have been imbued with a trial strength Chi Bubble™ protection enchantment to help you bring the funk and bring tha noise while staying cool as a cucumber as the Hell-zombies fall in putrid piles at your feet. The super-lucky chance card was designed as good fucking mojo that will make your balls weigh ten pounds and the profoundly glorious stink of awesome will infuse the air lucky enough to touch your hard sexy body.
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White Logo Tandoc Tools T-Shirt
Printed on Satan’s own silk screening press, these shirts exude malice and the piss-poor attitude that perfectly exemplifies Tandoc Tools. Rock your badass shit in this badass shirt for only 21 all-American dollar bills or their electronic equivalents. Get yours with the bitchin' white logo printed on any color of Hanes Beefy-T as long as its black.
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Red Logo Tandoc Tools T-Shirt
Get yours with the red like the fires of hell logo small on front and big on back. Printed on any color of Hanes Beefy-T as long as its black. |
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